ME - I've had a passion for screen printed T-shirts since I was in grade school ... sometime back in the murky depths of the Twentieth Century. As enthusiasts tend to do, I decided to try my hand at producing that which I love.
THE DESIGNS - The result is an eclectic mix of sometimes humorous designs dealing with politics, science, nature, human rights, and--of course--cats. I've got it covered, from soup to nutjobs, cats to gods, puns to nuns, literal to figurative and back. Now cover yourself with one of my shirts 😉
THE PRODUCTS - I screen print all garments myself. I also print the cards. I have the mugs printed for me by a company in Detroit, Michigan, as at present I lack both the equipment and inclination to do this myself. See the other FAQs for information on the materials and processes I use.
Garment Sizing and Fitment
MEASURE TWICE, ORDER ONCE - The best outcome for everyone is to get it right the first time, so please ask the target of your gift giving for their size information. Actual measurements are much more useful than a size name, as terms like "Medium" actually have no standardized meaning--especially for women's garments. Inches are real! Please allow actual measurements to override any preconceived notions about the fitment of named sizes.
STYLE MATTERS - For most garments, each listing provides a choice between a Slim-Fit style and a Relaxed-Fit or Boxy-Fit style. As indicated in the following chart, a women's Large Relaxed-Fit T-shirt is 7 inches larger than a Large Slim-Fit.
YOU HAVE THE "SECRET" KNOWLEDGE - Every garment listing includes a size chart, description of the fitment of the available styles, and the chest measurement of each size is shown directly in the size selector. Note also that all of the women's garments have an hourglass shape, or waist. See one of the men's styles if you don't want that.
When it comes to washing shirts, we here at eyeronic-Ts are traditionalists. Please wash them only in COLD water, preferably in a running stream with a nice assortment of smooth, round stones on which to beat them.
Okay, I might be kidding, just a little...
BEST PRACTICE - To get the longest life out of both the design and the shirt itself, turn the shirt inside out, avoid the hot setting when washing and when drying, and use a front-loading washing machine (which tend to be gentler on everything, use less water, and get things cleaner). To really extend the life of a garment, hang it to dry rather than using a dryer. I did this in my youth (yes, I was, and am, a T-shirt nut) and as a result, I have a few imprinted T-shirts that have survived since the late 1970's, but that sort of longevity is not to be expected of any natural fiber garment.
SHRINKAGE - Though the garments I carry use high-quality ringspun cotton and have been preshrunk, they will shrink a bit over the life of the garment. That said, I do not use cheap garments made of inferior grades of cotton, so shrinkage should be moderate, barring use of excessively Hot washing and drying, which will shrink any natural fabric.
FABRIC COMPOSITION - Details are included in each listing.
Yes, I occasionally mail coupons to my most ardent fans (anyone savvy enough to sign up), my most loyal customers (anyone savvy enough to sign up), as well as anyone savvy enough to sign up.
To join this exclusive group, write a 10,000 word treatise on the manifest charms and pleasures of the Ford Pinto hatchback (station wagons need not apply). Do so in the original Klingon, etched with a bone knife onto the hood of a 1972 Chevy Vega. Render this unto me via heraldic courier service to my ice castle in Ur.
Or, sign up for my newsletter. Up to four times a year, I may produce a short Newsletter with coupon codes, a sneak peek at new designs/products, and generally relevant information such as any events I will be attending, sponsoring, or selling at. You can, of course, unsubscribe at any time. To sign up, click the link above.
Gift cards are a brilliant stress reducing invention! All the gifting pleasure without the stress and worry of trying to get the size, color, and style right. You'll find a Gift Card item/product on the main page in amongst the listings for shirts, hoodies, mugs, and cards.
IT WORKS LIKE THIS - Select the dollar value of the gift card and enter the email address of the person you wish to send the gift card to, as well as a gift message, if you wish. After you checkout, I send a gift card email to the target of your gift giving. They simply click a button in the email to open my shop in their browser and automatically apply the gift card. Any leftover balance remains for their future use.
MASS QUANTITIES - To send the same gift card to multiple people, simply use a comma between each email address. Note, if you enter 10 email addresses for a $20 gift card, that means a gift of $20 to each person, so that would be ten $20 gift cards for a total cost of $200.
- These "Gift Cards" are not physical cards, but rather emails that contain a unique number for each Gift Card, as well as a unique button/link to my web site.
- At checkout, the Gift Card balance is applied to the purchase price of items as well as shipping costs.
- Gift Cards are not transferable to others, refundable, nor redeemable for cash, gold, puka shells, or the like.
- While these Gift Cards do not have an expiration date or time limit, one should ponder the impending heat death of the universe and/or my eventual sojourn to Antarctica to live with the well-dressed birds of the sea. Time waits for no one, so spend it while you can still enjoy it.
DIFFERENT GARMENT STYLE/COLOR - If you would like one of my designs printed on a specific brand/style/size/color of garment/thing that I do not offer, feel free to ask. I'll let you know if the design would work as desired, and what, if any, additional expense it would entail.
PRINT DESIGN ON BACK OF SHIRT - Yes, I can (barely, sometimes, manage to) print a design on the back of a shirt rather than it's normal frontal placement. Request this in ALL CAPS in the Order notes field at checkout. Note, as with all customized items, back-printed shirts are NOT returnable.
PRINT DESIGN ON FRONT OF HOODIE - No!
SUBTRACTIVE DESIGN - I can block portions of a design from printing. For instance, you may like the image but not the text that goes with it. Tell me what you want, and I'll let you know if I can do it.
ADDITIVE/NEW DESIGN - If you want a custom version of one of my designs (or something entirely new) for your entire team/group/sleeper-cell, write to me with what you have in mind. This would involve making new art/film/screens, so the costs are best spread over a quantity of shirts.
CAN I RETURN CUSTOMIZED ITEMS? - No! :-/ Customized items are not returnable, so be sure of your size/style choice, as well as whatever customization you are requesting.
Is Your Ink Durable and Safe?
SOFT - For durability and comfort, I use only modern water-based inks. These inks penetrate into the fabric and are softer to the touch and less rubbery feeling than traditional inks that sit on top of the fabric. They add less weight to the garment and are less prone to growing stiff and cracking over time.
DARK GARMENTS - That said, white ink, and the inks printed on dark shirts, must be high opacity, so it will have more "hand" or feel to it than black ink printed on white or light-colored shirts.
FREE! - The inks I use are PVC, Phthalate, and heavy metal free.
NO PLASTISOL - I do not use Plastisol, but it is what all screen-printed shirts used to be printed with, and most still are. Plastisol is a Polyvinyl Chloride (PVC) ink. As such, it sits on the surface of the fabric and has a plastic, rubbery feel. It adds some stiffness and weight--especially when used on large areas. Over time, it gets stiffer and tends to crack.
Sales Tax, VAT, Duties, and Other Bullpoop
I do not collect sales tax, import duties, VAT, or any other tax/fee your elected government has seen fit to impose upon you. According to the laws written by your elected representatives, it is up to you to report and remit such taxes/fees to them when a seller is not a "nexus" in your state and is below their sales thresholds.
NEXUS TO NOTHING - I live in a state that does not impose a sales tax of its own, and I do not exceed the sales threshold in any state in the USA. So I can avoid the bother of dealing with the multitudinous flustercluck that is each state imposing entirely different tax rates on entirely different things. Extra special thanks to the cities and counties that pile on with their own additions, subtractions, and general buggering of whatever mess their state tax law already was 😉
IMPORT DUTIES - It seems that these are often collected upon receipt of the package, so be prepared to pay whatever fee your country imposes, or they'll post the thing back to me, or simply keep it themselves. Consult whatever resources your country provides in order to determine what the fees would be and when and how they are to be collected.
SHIP IT AS A GIFT? - No. I'm not lying for you on a government form. If you want to get out of paying taxes/fees on the things you buy, elect a different government 🙂 Sure, they'll find a different way to get the money, but perhaps with a less regressive tax/fee than sales taxes and import duties.
I PAY MY PIPER - In my case, the piper is paid via a state income tax, something that some states with sales taxes do not have at all--but most have both, of course :-p
Time - How Long for Processing & Shipping?
PROCESSING TIME: 3 to 6 DAYS - I print all products (other than mugs) myself, and all products (including mugs) are printed fresh for the orders that come in. There isn't a big warehouse, here, piled to the rafters with mass-produced Chinese stuff awaiting an Amazon truck. It's just me, and my art, and my ink (and the guys in Detroit who print my mugs).
- "Days" means business days, which means 5 days a week, minus any holiday on which the Post Office is closed.
- I do not print everyday, as that would be highly inefficient of both time and materials (and there are other tasks to do, like creating new art and writing this blather!). Thus I have a running print queue, and print whenever it has accumulated enough work.
- My stated processing time needs to cover the scenario of you ordering a specific style/color/size garment that I have just ran out of. I generally have all garments on hand, but that will not always be the case. In other words, Your Mileage May Vary, depending on the timing of your order versus my current garment inventory status. My aim here is to meet or beat the expectations I have set, not to tease you with the possibility of a two day processing time, and then fail to meet it as I wait for a shipment of blank garments to arrive during a Christmas week snowpocalypse from Heck.
- If you need something sooner, ask me if I can do it (and consider Priority Shipping).
SHIPPING TIME - Depends on where you are relative to me, what shipping method is being used, and what time of the year (or current disaster) we are in. I am in the state of Oregon, USA. Expect somewhat longer ship times during Christmas, war, zombie plague, and/or alien invasion. Times below reflect NORMAL (whatever that means) times/conditions. In any case, USPS estimated ship times are estimates; USPS does NOT guarantee that they will meet those times. Buy early, and buy often! 😉
- USA First Class - Can reach most of the country inside of a week. Larger cities, even all the way on the other coast, will often receive mail sooner than a more rural area in the middle of the country. Such are the logistics of shipping to hubs.
- USA Priority - Can reach most of the country in 3 to 4 days, much of it in 1 to 2.
- Mugs - Ship via a mixed UPS service, where your country's local postal service handles the "last mile" of delivery. This can be a touch slower than first class, especially during busy shipping times, such as the holidays. There is no option to choose a different option, as this is the only option I have with my mug printer. On the plus side, it is (with the exception of Alaska and Hawaii) a very cost effective way to ship mugs, and one I would not have access to on my own (as I am a bit small to negotiate deals with UPS).
- International First Class - This can take weeks, to closer to a month, or more. Often, no small part of the wait is Customs in the destination country. Note, I do NOT use a shipping aggregator (which would save me money ... in theory), so your package won't be sitting on some dock for days, or weeks, waiting for a boat to fill with cargo.
Shipping - USA
MUGS - Ship separately from other item types, so may arrive before or after any garments or cards in your order. Mugs always ship via UPS, regardless of any shipping choice you make for other items in your order. This is a hybrid UPS/USPS service in which the US Postal Service completes the "last mile" of delivery. As of 2020, I charge $2.95 ($12.95 Alaska and Hawaii); shipping is free for any additional mugs after the first one.
GARMENTS - Ship via your choice of USPS First Class or USPS Priority. As of 2020, I charge $3.95 for First Class and $7.95 for Priority. Shipping is free for any additional garments after the first one.
CARDS - Ship for FREE via USPS First Class, or for $7.95 via USPS Priority, which covers any number of cards in your order.
MIXED ORDERS - If a Priority order contains both cards and garments, there will be only one $7.95 Priority shipping charge. If an order contains mugs, there will be a $2.95 ($12.95 Alaska and Hawaii) UPS mug shipping charge in addition to any applicable shipping charge for garments or cards as described above, since mugs are shipped separately via a different carrier.
SHIPPING DAMAGE - If an item arrives damaged, please take a photo of both the packaging and the item. See the Returns and Exchanges topic for more info.
Shipping - International
MUGS - Ship separately from other item types, so may arrive before or after any garments or cards in your order. Shipping is free for any additional mugs after the first one.
GARMENTS - Ship via USPS First Class International. Shipping is free for any additional garments after the first one.
CARDS - Ship via USPS First Class International. Shipping is free for any additional cards after the first one.
MIXED ORDERS - If an order contains both cards and garments, I may refund the Card portion of the shipping charge if I can reasonably include both in the same package (and do so without hitting a higher weight class). If an order contains mugs, there will be a mug shipping charge in addition to any applicable shipping charge for garments or cards as described above, since mugs are shipped separately via a different carrier.
SHIPPING DAMAGE - If an item arrives damaged, please take a photo of both the packaging and the item. See the Returns and Exchanges topic for more info.
Returns and Exchanges
If there is a problem with your order, please contact me as soon as possible.
If You Received a Defective Item, Or the Wrong Item:
Please write to me and describe what seems to have gone wrong. Attach a photo if that seems appropriate. Poop sometimes happens. My sincere apologies if I contributed to it happening to you! I will do my best to make it right for you.
Return/Exchange for Fitment:
I realize that garments purchased as gifts may delay the discovery of fitment issues until after the gift giving event, so I accept returns up to 90-days. However, the best outcome for everyone is to get it right the first time, so PLEASE ask the target of your gift giving for their size information. Chest size in inches has universal meaning across all brands and styles, size "Medium" does not! Please see the FAQ topic on Garment Sizing and Fitment.
I accept returns/exchanges of unworn (other than to try on) unwashed items in their original condition. You pay shipping both ways. Note that a 2XL costs more than an XL, so there may be a charge associated with upsizing (the actual difference in price between the two sizes). Please write to me and explain your needs so I can help make it work for you.
I Do NOT Accept:
- Returns of Large Volume Orders:
If you are ordering for a group or organization, please be sure of your sizing needs before placing the order. I recommend ordering samples to verify the suitability of the garments to your purpose.
- Returns of Custom Orders:
Orders of garment types, styles, sizes, or colors that I do not ordinarily offer. As well as customized designs/text on cards, mugs, garments, or whatever.
- Changes and Cancellations:
If you make a change or cancellation request before I start work on your order, I may--solely at my discretion--change or cancel it per your desire. However, once I have irrevocably committed time and materials to your order, you will be expected to pay for it. Mugs are an extra special case, as I absolutely cannot stop a mug order once I turn it over to my mug printer.
If you have placed an order, you will have received an Order Receipt email from me. You can reply directly to that email. Conveniently, this also sets the context, as it will include your order number.
Else, complete the following fields.
Note, do NOT include a link/URL in your message, as spammy looking messages will be auto-destructed and never seen.
YES, you may leave a review for an item you purchased--please do! 🙂
ISSUE? - That said, if you have experienced an issue with your order/product, please contact me by replying to your Order Receipt email or via the Contact Form so that I can do my best to make things right for you. Note, I do not closely monitor reviews, so this is not a timely way to let me know of an issue with your order or to seek resolution.
TO LEAVE A REVIEW - Go to the product page for the item you wish to review and click the Reviews link. The review form will then appear below the group of existing reviews. The form includes the following fields (all starred * fields are required):
- Your rating* - Click from one to five stars.
- Your review* - Enter a bit of text describing your experience with the product.
- Name* - Enter your name, screen name, alias, whatever.
- Email* - Enter the email you used when you purchased the item. Your email will NOT be displayed in the review nor used for any purpose other than matching your review to your purchase so as to verify that you actually bought the item you are reviewing.
- Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. - Optionally, check this box if you wish to save time the next time you leave a review.
- Submit* - When you are all done, click the button to submit your review.
NOTES - There is some "code magic" at work to prevent spam and bogus reviews, so your review may not appear immediately upon submission. The system errs on the side of caution, so occasionally I have to rescue reviews from the "spam" folder; my apologies if I don't always get around to that promptly.
Blog & Social Media
I'm "social" on the following platforms:
BLOG - A page right here on eyeronic-Ts where I blather about one thing or another ... likely to be focused on a political, environmental, or sciencey topic that inspired me to create art.
FACEBOOK - Posts about new products/designs, as well the occasional link to a new entry on my blog.
PINTEREST - Photos of new products/designs, as well as pins related to the various topics that my art is inspired by.
TWITTER - Tweets about new products/designs, as well the occasional link to a new entry on my blog. Uhm ... and probably quite a bit of me quipping about one thing or another with friends both near and far, so a lot of the content may not be "on topic" and may be rather silly at times :-p
NEWSLETTER - Also, up to four times a year, I may produce a short Newsletter with Coupon Codes, a sneak peek at new designs/products, and generally relevant information such as any events I will be attending, sponsoring, or selling at. To sign up, click the link above.
Up to four times a year, I may produce a short Newsletter with coupon codes, a sneak peek at new designs/products, and generally relevant information such as any events I will be attending, sponsoring, or selling at. You can, of course, unsubscribe at any time. To sign up, click the link above.
- I do not share your contact or financial information with third parties--Except as necessary to enable shipping and payment processing services in support of your order.
- If you create an account and/or place an order, you obviously will be providing your email and physical addresses. As noted above, this information is not shared except as necessary to support your order.
- If you correspond with me via email or forms on this website, you will be providing me with whatever content you see fit in so doing. Some of this content, such as comments or photos left in a review, will be publicly visible on this site.
- Your financial data and account numbers are never present on my server. When you click the Pay button on my site, your card information is encrypted and transferred from your own computer/phone/iPOD/whatever directly to the payment processor. The processor then sends notice of this transaction (but not your card information) to my server so I know that the transaction was completed. In short, payment information is handled on a "need to know" basis, and me and my server only need to know that you paid.
- I will NOT contact you, except:
- To facilitate and complete a transaction to purchase or return an item as instigated by you.
- To answer questions or reply to comments/suggestions as instigated by you.
- Up to four times a year--IF you have opted to receive my newsletter, in which I might introduce new designs and/or distribute coupons to existing customers and maybe even provide advanced warning that I'll be attending and/or selling at an event/conference. To subscribe, see the Newsletter option in the menu, or click: Newsletter.